11 rules to being irresistibly charming in the workplace

Starting a job and getting back into the game can be tricky. Let’s be honest, working with younger co-workers can be uncomfortably challenging for you especially if you are doing this after a long break.

The young co-workers can be doubtful of you and come across as indifferent. They will be judgmental of you at first because of stereotypes.

Let’s face it; there will be a generation gap problem that may overwhelm you and your colleagues. Your boss/team can come across as super driven, demanding, and workaholic whereas they may look at you as more laidback, slow and resistant to change, which may not be true.

But that’s the accepted and familiar perspective people share about senior adults. You will have to dynamically change that image. You will have to calmly change the image of senior adults.

Be charming

 The ball will be in your court then, to bridge the gap. You will have to take the first step and make a sincere and a reliable effort to use your congeniality to get into their zone, into your team’s good books.

One of the key ingredients to being successful in a career and in life is to know how to deal with people with ease. You will have to be someone people instantly like, remember and want to interact with.

You will have to be graceful, genuine and upbeat. In simple words, you will have to be charming.  It’s time to switch on your charm meter.

The 11 rules of charm

Discover the eleven rules of charm that will empower you.  It’s not difficult nor does it take an effort to be charming, yet most people struggle. Let me list down simple techniques that you can follow and be certain to be more likable.  

Rules to be charming

Rule 1: Let the headlights be on them, not on you.

People don't want to know about you. They're not bothered about where you worked or what you did. They don’t care if you are related to Superman; all they care about is themselves.

With this in mind, be the kind of person who is interested in other people because we all love the opportunity to talk about ourselves. That’s why social media sites like Facebook and Instagram are a hit. So imagine how popular you'll be if you allow others to talk as much as they like.

Action:

Successful communication happens when people share about what is interesting and exciting to them. It entails learning more about what the other person thinks and learning additional information about other people’s points of view. So ask open-ended questions. 

Ask why and how more than what and when. Ask lots of questions and listen genuinely. Always ensure the conversation revolves around the other person, maintain eye contact, smile and ask further questions but most importantly give them your full ear.

Rule 2: What’s your name?

We love listening to our name. We feel connected and like a person more, when we hear our name in the conversation.

Action:

When you first meet someone, repeat their name to remember it and then drop it occasionally into the conversation. 

Rule 3: Get your body language right

As we know, 70% of our communication is non-verbal. Body language plays a very important role in the perception of people. It’s important to use the right body language to be trusted and be liked by others. 

Action:

Ensure your arms & legs are not crossed. Use gestures while talking because hands symbolize trust. Point your feet and torso towards the person talking, as it shows you are interested in the person you are talking to. These are powerful non-verbal techniques that help in forming a rapport.

Rule 4: Use the right tone of voice

 The tone of your voice is just as important as your body language. The right tone can make you charming or it can be alarming.

 Action:

Avoid shouting or coming across as aggressive. Always, use a relaxed, gentle tone of voice.

Rule 5: Smile!

 A smile is infectious. Smile is an instant rapport builder. Everyone loves a happy person, so smile and be happy to be around others. Your happy state of mind will show through and make you very likable. No one likes a grumpy or a disinterested person.

Action:

Be cheerful and smile at people

Rule 6: Compliment other people

People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. That is why you find charismatic people complimenting other people a lot.

Action: 

Think of one compliment for each of your team member and share it with them. But be genuine in your approach. Giving compliments does not mean giving fake compliments. Observe them, note the good points in them and genuinely give them a compliment. Everyone is a sucker for compliments and it makes someone’s day – so use this tip genuinely and generously.

Rule 7: Try to display positive emotions 

People are strongly influenced by the moods of other people. According to a research paper, people can unconsciously feel the emotions of those around them. Hence, we don’t like people who are forever complaining or negative.

 Action:

 Be in a positive state of mind and you will be an instant hit. Look at situations and people in a positive light.

Rule 8:  Reveal your flaws from time to time

Trust is accomplished when the other person sees you as a competent and a vulnerable (with flaws) individual. According to a psychological study done, people will like you more if you make a mistake - but only if they believe you are a competent person. Revealing that you aren't perfect makes you more relatable and vulnerable toward the people around you. It’s a trick psychiatrist use to establish connections with their patients.

Action:

Display your competence by helping your team members out when they are stuck. At regular intervals share with them about the mistakes you may have made or accept the fact that you don’t understand certain things for which you need their help.

Rule 9: Tell them a secret

Our human race is built on the concept of gossips, stories, and secrets. Self-disclosure is one of the best relationship-building techniques. Sharing secrets gets people together.

People feel in command and worthy when someone tells them a secret because you need to earn a reputation. This makes people instantly feel good about themselves. If you make someone feel good, they will immediately take a liking towards you.

Action:

Share something about yourself with the group that they may not know. This will help in creating a rapport.

Rule 10: Display a sense of humor

Humor is influential. A sense of humor connects immediately. A study found that regardless of whether people were thinking about their ideal friend or romantic partner, a sense of humor was really important. If you are funny, it makes you more charming.

Action:

If you have a knack for humor, use it to your advantage. If humor is not your strength, then look at things in a lighter way. However, ensure that you don’t hurt anyone with your humor.

Rule 11: Look Appropriate

We make judgments about individuals in the first 7 seconds of meeting them. Thus, how you dress and what image you portray is very important. The clothes you wear and the way you groom yourself will change the way other people hear what you say. It will subconsciously tell them if they should like you or dislike you. It will determine whether they listen or ignore. Trust or distrust.

Action: 

Spend Smart. Instead of buying 10 cheap sets of clothing, buy 2 good brands or get tailor made clothes for yourself that fit you well. Good clothing will really make the difference.

Conclusion

Turning on your charm meter will give you the privilege to create a dynamic relationship with your team. You will be loved, followed and respected by all. I urge you to practice these 11 rules authentically and keep me posted as you witness your day to day interactions transform.